This video is great!!
And by great I mean I've never seen my downward spiral before and to have it documented is exhilarating! A tad frightening but mainly because I'm sharing it. I know some of my days are better than others but to see it, turns out to be more enlightening and uplifting then embarrassing or in honor of Halloween coming up - horrifying.
When I started this video I was at the 4-6 week mark of a 12 week plan to complete some paintings; to open the store, so to speak, and also use my images to create some retail with. I want a hoodie with one of the rainbow paintings on it and I want it soon!
I can tell I'm not feeling great in the intro video. I filmed it on the cusp of descending into a fit of physical pain and depression. No make-up, hair undone, and in my most worn of hoodies. I'm amazed I made a video! Hell, I'm more amazed I'm posting it.
There is struggle and difficult days as I work to create more good days than bad days, I continually learn more about what works and what doesn't. What didn't work just before this was an overloaded and very aggressive schedule that kind of made me sick. The bonus was I had planned a trip to see friends and getting out of the studio to visit with people I love was much needed and a definite treat. Coming back though was hard because I hadn't completed what I had planned to before I left on my trip and that guilt, combined with being a little worn out from all the fun made the next week of work slow and challenging.
The difference and benefit of seeing this video, which I hadn't watched until I completed all the paintings I wanted to add GREEN to is that I still managed to paint and record painting, it just took a couple weeks instead of a couple days.
Seeing this put together now, I'm OK.
I'm OK that I'm not at my most eloquent.
I'm OK that I'm not at my prettiest.
And I'm super OK that I'm still posting what I said I would because it shows that working through the fucking bumps in the road is still "on the road" and that I am truly thankful to be here doing this for myself and anyone else that struggles along their journey.
I'm also so thankful for the love and support of my family and friends. Love you! Love you! Love you!
COLORS: Titanium White - Blick
Iridescent White - Blick
C.P. Cadmium Yellow Medium - Golden
Iridescent Gold - Blick
Interference Gold - Golden
Permanent Green Light - Black
Phthalocyanine Green - Blick
Interference Blue - Golden
Brushes - Filberts all the way!!